an afternoon of constellations, full of silence, sound, energy, information, smooth … lots of life, pure life. Thanks to all who made it possible … and to ours, who came before us … all in all.
And from here and now, I say yes, yes to Life, just as it is.
Something has moved, something has happened that touches a deep (or hidden) emotion in me and do not know what is. I want to hear and I do not hear, I want to see, and I do not see, I want to understand and I do not understand. Only my body is placed in a subtle alert and I feel it wants to stop, to stay still and not to move to allow what is going on – and I do not hear, nor see, nor understand- finding its place, sedimenting itself in still waters. It is an active, humble, respectful and trusting stillness… maybe the sediment is nutritious and can give some fruit sometime, somewhere … in my being with all.
Deep change is to be certain that the old in me in no longer useful, that it is past, left behind on the road.
Deep change is feeling uncertain about the new to come, that has not yet come completely, that I do not understand, that I can not grasp it.
Because there are changes that need to be done despite the terrible voices known, through the inevitable fear … and, hopefully, feeling cradled by the waters of life that elapse somewhere deep within our being.
Life is definetely strange. Confusion, problems, fears, burdens … and one day, a moment of clarity (or insanity, impossible to distinguish) occurs: all experienced, all relationships, all these difficulties, everything, everything seems different. What is real looks like a story, what is new -seen from outside, outside time and space- seems real. And a different life, a life composed of many lives, with good and bad all together, melt in a dance, a boisterous, incomprehensible and simple harmonious dance. And then, keep paddling in this, in that, strange life.
The blood of our people, our blood flows through generations, pushing, sometimes fertilizing, other rampaging … no dams to retain the life that comes to us through our ancestors. If pain makes me close my eyes, this only seems to stop, but the blood pushes deep, joins me and links me to all those who are gone. I can only watch, assent to what it was, recognize their pain and force, give them in myself their place of dignity, all in all. And I, in my small now, just be part of that clan, humbly bowing to those who already lived their lives, accepting mine and thus freeing up a bit more, those who have come to life through me, after me.
In my fingers, the cold of the morning on wet clothes, wrinkled … and clean.
In my face, surprisingly, the first sun, defying confident, simple but solemn, the night fog.
As it is inside it is outside, if I believe, if I want to, if I trust.
And a fresh joy runs, simply because it feels like.
Sorry, this entry is only available in Català and European Spanish.
Sorry, this entry is only available in Català and European Spanish.
Sorry, this entry is only available in Català and European Spanish.
When we let go of what we really want, detach from those who we love the most, release even this our existence, we can suddenly become alive. Living life as the gift it is, enjoying it more fully, also sustaining disease and pain and live with less fear, knowing that we have already died.